Hopeless Hope
by ShipALLTheStr8Men
Summary: Shizaya; Izaya Orihara was at his edge, he decided he was finally done with everything, he had lost feeling of everything; Except when he was attacked by Shizuo, that gave him feel, a pleasant rush. He needed that, he wanted it. "Hit me more, Shizu-chan! Show me what you've got! Destroy me.". So, what choice will be made? Will Izaya be destroyed? Or will new hope be formed?


I walked down the rainy streets of Ikebukuro, twirling in the rain with my hands in the pockets of my jacket. How I loved the rush of cold water falling upon my face, the feeling of being soaked by water and becoming as cold as my heart.

I needed something, I felt it raging in my soul, yet I couldn't identify what it was I oh so desired. The feeling was driving me insane, yet I _loved _the insanity, the pain it caused me. I laughed, extremely loud and dramatically, let everyone hear me.

People were staring and pointing, others rushed out of the way and screamed "Oh god, it's Izaya Orihara, let's get the hell out of here!".  
_That's right_, I thought. Run away, leave me be, let me be alone like I usually am, I don't need anyone anyways.

"_IIIIIZZAAAAYYYAAA!", _suddenly, a raging madman in a bartender suit flew out of the corner of an alley. My laugh must have attracted him.  
"I told you to stay _the fuck _out of Ikebukuro!", he yelled, stomping towards me. The surrounding bystanders were all departing by now, not wanting to be a part of the chaos soon to break.  
"My, my, Shizu-chan~", I chuckled, "That's no way to greet an old friend~", I grinned. I faced him, yet took a few playful steps backwards, leaning forward towards him so he could receive a perfect glimpse of my grin.

"No way in fucking hell would I ever associate myself with trash like you, let alone be _friends _with the likes of you.", he scowled, continuing to ease forward.

Ahh, how those words _stung. _I _loved _it.

"Oh, _really?"_, I challenged. "Is that why you come to see me every chance you can?", I smirked. _C'mon Shizu, call me more of those words._

A vain became blatantly visible on his forehead, he was about to break. "I only see you so I can kick your fucking ass out of here, you scum!" yelled as he grabbed for and clenched the nearest stop sign; Jeez, I feel bad for the city, constantly having to repair damages and order new stop signs weekly.  
"Well, seeming as to how many times I still come around, we can see how successful your excuse is, _now can we_?", I pestered on.  
That remark was enough to make him snap. He charged at me with the stop sign ready to swing.  
"Let's play some more, Shizu-chan~! I was beginning to think you found a new toy!", I shouted to him as I lightly sprinted forward, pushing anything, and _anyone, _I can to create an obstacle for the brute chasing me.

We ran a few blocks and I seemed to get too careless and carried away with my fun. Before I knew it, he cornered me into a secluded alleyway.  
"You're going to get it now, you damn flea!", he threatened between exhausted pants. He charged for me and swung the stop sign.  
Of course, with my fast reflexes, I dodged it, jumping upward and landing atop of the stop sign. While at advantage, I leaned in close to the brute's face and gave him a wide smirk. "Nuh-uh-uh, Shizu-chan~, if you play too roughly, you're going to end up _breaking your toy.",_ I teased as I delivered a powerful punch to his jaw. It sent him backwards quite a bit, but not enough to make him fall over.  
That hit caused him to be fuming. He threw the stop sign behind him and his body was shaking with anger, he just stood there glaring at the ground; Or so I guessed, his head was down and his blonde locks covered his face.

"I hope you've paid your funeral costs, flea", he spoke to the ground. "'Cause you're gonna fuckin' need it!", he flung his head to face me and showed his furious face. He charged at me at remarkable speed; Just _what _was Shizuo fully capable of?

_That's right Shizu-chan, show me what you've got._

I tried to dodge but his left arm grabbed my shoulder and swung me back to throw me off balance, then he used his right arm to grab my other shoulder so he had full control of my body and slammed me into a wall. I gasped at the sweet pain that stimulated my senses. He dug his fingernails into my shoulders, causing me to wince, yet I kept a smile on my face, causing Shizu to grow angrier, _if even possible to say so._

"If you haven't gotten any funeral arrangements, that's fine too, flea.", he gave a sinister laugh. "I'll just bury your body in the trash from which you came from!", he roared. He delivered a punch to my jaw with his right hand. Before I knew it, I had a bitter, copper-like taste flood my mouth.  
_That's right Shizu-chan, take your anger out on me. Beat me up. Tear me down. __**Destroy me.**_

I lifted my face to the sky and laughed again. I let the cold rain chill the burn of my face from the punch.  
"Are you seriously as fucking insane as you put out to be, flea?", Shizuo scowled, seeming confused and aggravated with my response to his punch.

_Insane, am I?_, I contemplated, continuing to smile at the sky. _Is that the word for it? Is that the word that describes me, insane? The word to describe someone who has lost all hope and reason to move on? Someone who is helplessly holding on to a thin string that may snap at any given moment? Someone who enjoys the feel of being torn from the inside out just so they can stop having to worry about all of these things?_

"Flea?", Shizuo asked, his voice seemed calmer, yet still tinged with anger and displeasure.  
I lowered my face to face the ground and gave a light chuckle. "Kill me.", I answered.  
"_What?", _Shizuo basically gasped.  
I lifted my face to face him, giving him a pleading grin and pity face. _Yes, pitiful, that's the word I was looking for to describe myself.  
"_It's what you wanted all along, Shizu-chan!". I said, amused. "You said so yourself. I'm trash, _scum. _There's no need for more people in the world like me. "  
"I-izaya...", Shizuo said in a voice barely above a whisper. He loosened his grip on my shoulders.  
"You've dreamt of this day all along!", I exclaimed, laughing.

I stopped laughing and rid of any emotion. "_**Now do** **it.**_", I grimly demanded.

The sound of rain was the only sound heard in our silence. What a peculiar sight this would be for anyone of Ikebukuro: Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara together in a dark, secluded alleyway. Heiwajima, _the strongest man of Ikebukuro, _finally has the vexatious information broker at his mercy. All this time, the turmoil between the two can finally be ended with the death of Orihara and his blood forever-stained on Heiwajima's hands. Now, just what will be the outcome, what choice will be made? _Will he do it?_

_"You really are a dumbass, flea.", _Shizuo said, tone hushed. Shizuo lay his head on my shoulder. "_So fucking stupid!", _he cursed. Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong arms embrace me at the waist. I was taken aback and released an inaudible gasp.  
"What are you doing?", I questioned.

_This was not the plan. You are supposed to kill me, rid me from my chains._

"This isn't the way to go.", Shizuo explained. "Not even someone the from the likes of you deserves such anguish." He spoke sternly, tightening his grip.

_No, this is not how it's supposed to go._

"Let me go.", I demanded, struggling to escape the other's grip.  
"_No.", _He answered, harshly.

_I understand, you're keeping me here so I stay bounded to these chains. You want me to suffer more. You want my anguish to be everlasting._

"**I SAID LET ME GO!**", I yelled. I twisted and flailed my body in any way I could, kicking at him if I could retain the balance to do so. He just stubbornly kept his grip.

"P-please.", I begged.  
_I was tired. just oh-so tired, of everything.  
_I felt tears begin to swell in my eyes. "Just let me fade away already."

"What about Namie?", Shizuo interjected.  
"Wh-what does that have to do with any-"  
"Shinra, Celty.", Shizuo ignored me and continued, raising his voice.  
"What about them-", I began to ask again, only to be cut off.  
"Simon, Mairu and Kururi!", he was practically yelling by now.  
I stood silent, why was he naming everyone? Better yet, why does it _hurt _hearing their names?  
"What about _me?"_, he whispered.

I widened my eyes. I don't understand what's happening. Hearing this _hurts,_ it hurts _so much. _But why is it _different_? I was being hurt just a few moments ago, yet I begged for more, pleaded desperately; Yet this pain is _different._ It doesn't give me satisfaction or adrenaline...it just jabbs my heart, almost physically.  
It hurt to stand, it hurt to _breathe. _

"What do you mean? I-i don't care.", I choked on my words. The tears were getting hard to hold back, and my throat was tightening, _suffocating _me. "They wouldn't care if I suddenly became nothing more than a simple memory.", I choked out, tone almost inaudible.  
"Liar.", Shizuo sternly accused.  
"No", I replied.  
"You're lying and you know it.", he not only hugged me tighter, but pulled me closer to him, no, _into him. _He now supported me. I no longer had to support all of the heavy weight myself, there was someone there burdening it _with _me.

"N-no...", I choked as tears poured from my eyes.  
Shizuo said nothing.  
"I-it's not true.",I was sobbing.  
"_Stop!", _My body was shaking and I clung onto Shizuo desperately. I was tired of holding on to my stoic facade, I wanted to let it go for once. I let go of my pride, I let myself cry onto another's shoulder. I let someone see me in my pettiest state. I let myself give in to someone, _rely _on someone.  
As I sobbed, Shizuo would tousle my hair or slide his hand softly up and down my back, sending shivers up my spine.

I don't know how long I sobbed there, but eventually I felt lighter. I felt _better._ My sobs calmed down and became muffled, almost tuned out by the rain which was becoming lighter as well. I was cold, and the rain was adding on to the cold, though where I was being hugged, I felt _warm. _I'm not familiar with this sensation, but I think I like it, more than the sensation of being slammed into a wall or punched in the jaw, at the least.

"_Do you understand now?"_, Shizuo asked, calmly.

_Did I?_

I nodded into his shoulder, not wanting to let him see my face.

_I guess I did.  
__I hate Shizu-chan, I hate him with all my heart. He ruined everything. I was supposed to die. I wasn't supposed to have reason to move on; Yet here he came, he foiled my master plan, the pawn became the king. How dare he have the nerve to change me, to give me hope and reason with in a couple of moments. He's my anathema._

_"_Sh-shizu-chan?", I whispered, voice lightly hoarse.  
"Yes, _flea?", _He answered softly  
"I-I'm tired.", I said.  
"_Then rest.", _he answered.

_Rest, huh? That sounds nice..._


End file.
